Tell the truth. This is the central, guiding principle.

First, educate yourself about ADD, then put what you have learned into your own words, words the child can understand. Don't just hand the child a book or send the child off to some professional for an explanation. Explain it to yourself, after you have learned about it, then explain it to the child. Be straightforward and honest and clear. The child will carry the explanation you give him wherever he or she goes. The metaphor of nearsightedness is a useful one to use in explaining ADD to children. It is accurate and emotionally neutral.

Answer questions. Ask for questions. Remember, children often have questions you cannot answer. Don't be afraid to say you don't know. Then go find the answer; a good source is the book , Driven to Distraction, by Edward Hallowell, M.D., and John J. Ratey, M.D. Be sure to tell the child what ADD is not: stupidity, retardation, defectiveness, badness, etc.

TIPS ON STRUCTURING AND ORGANIZING THE LIFE OF THE CHILD WITH ADD

Write down the problem. Sit down with the child - or the whole family - and write down exactly where the problem areas are â€" the dining-room table, the bedroom, the bathroom, wherever. It is good to define, and thereby limit, the problem instead of leaving it in the realm of the infinite. Make use of concrete reminders like lists, schedules, alarm clocks, and the like. Give frequent feedback. Kids with ADD often don't see what they are doing as they are doing it. Don't wait until the house is completely torn apart before suggesting that it be put back together. Make copious use of praise and positive feedback. More than most people, people with ADD blossom under the warmth of praise. Consider using a coach or tutor when it comes to schoolwork. You do not want to give up your role as parent to an ad-hoc role of supervisor-tutor-badgerer-teacher. Provide the child with whatever devices he or she demonstrates can help. Ask the child what will help. Experiment with different plans and devices. One child organized his homework by setting his alarm clock to go off at twenty-minute chunks. Another child found that a word processor made the task of writing immensely easier. Another found that studying with earphones on allowed for better concentration. Use as your guiding principle: whatever works (but isn't illegal or dangerous).

From the book, Driven to Distraction, Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood through Adulthood, by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., and John J. Ratey, M.D.